Month: November 2014


It’s been cold, I’m exhausted, my back hurts, and I’m feeling so weird about everything. I checked and saw that I had a visitor. The visitor was from Pakistan. It made me smile. I’ve been staring at the Eid picture. My staff thinks you are simply gorgeous. I don’t know why I showed them…but then again I do a lot of stupid things.

I’ve been really trying to keep myself busy…it’s exhausting. At times I enjoy being out bc it makes me feel normal, but at the same time I hate it. Bc I know I’m doing it to try and fill an emptiness.

I hope Pakistan has been an amazing experience. I hope you didn’t get sick, and I hope you got to eat a lot of yummy food.

I’m sorry…

I always seem to have the worst timing. I had no idea that you flew in today, and that you were flying out later today.

I didn’t call to make things hard for you. I saw that someone was coming to the blog after that guy liked one of my posts. I thought it would be weird if some guy was reading my thoughts that are only meant for you. But if it was you, then I was happy that you were still checking. That there was still a link between us. Bc over the last few weeks without a link…it’s been difficult. I have tried to bury myself in the list of things to do. To run until my heart felt like it would explode. To keep myself busy either with work or friends etc. Focusing on religion etc

Either way…I am sorry. I don’t want to ruin your trip. I hope you have a lot of fun. I just go crazy sometimes…its not just you that ends up calling when you’re not supposed to. I really appreciate that you answered the phone though. I realize that you could easily let it go to voicemail and that it would be easier for you.